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Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Just think: right now, your body is cookin` up some poop.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
My wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can`t see the mailbox when she`s backing up?
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.