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I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
My inner self is in Photoshop
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!