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That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
“Single and ready to mingle” is the fancy way of saying “Alone and desperate”
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
It`s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
Laptop speakers, too quiet for music, too loud for porn.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.