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It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
Please do not read this.
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm