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Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
Mondays should start at noon.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.