Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
OMG! I just discovered that if I align them JUST right, that I can make your boobs stand straight up (just like the broom trick)! Message me for an appointment! ;)
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash.
You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!