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My spouse thinks I`m crazy. But I`m not the one who married me.
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !