Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
My sister told me I was not allowed to babysit anymore. Apparently the baby monitor is not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby`s ankle.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
It`s all fun and games until the cops show up.
Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession.
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here