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It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
It makes sense that animals pee on something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something, most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That`s yours now."
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".
How do nudist clean their glasses?
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!