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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
when life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iām right
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?