Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
Just once I`d like someone to call me "sir" without having to add "you need to calm down or we`re going to have to ask you to leave"
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
I forget, how much tequila goes in mashed potatoes? Now that`s funny, I don`t care who you are. Oh, don`t copy that part. I mean this part. Oh hell!! Your going to copy and paste the whole thing anyway ;)
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.