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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.