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The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
Police ordered me to get out of my car `You`re staggering` said the officer .`you`re not to bad looking yourself` I replied
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
I did a terrible job preparing for my Blue Man Group audition and boy is my face red