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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Little to no thought was put into this status.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up