Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
So if your invited to someone`s 4th marriage is it wrong to give them a gift certificate to a good divorce attorney?
My idea of getting lucky is having someone else do the laundry.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
Does running out of money count as exercise?
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.