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Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
I`m having trouble telling if it`s killing me or making me stronger
The problem with diets is pizza.
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
Women who say the quickest way to a man`s heart is through his stomach, have not seen his browser history.
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
I`m having an out of money experience.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.