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You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
I was struggling,trying to figure out how lightning works .....then it struck me!
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.