Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
Iād go to the gym but Iām still tinkering with the ultimate workout playlist I started three years ago.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
My moral in life is simple. You treat me good and I`ll treat you better.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.