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Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
My doctor prescribed me xanax instead of birth control pills I asked for. Now I have 9 kids, but I don`t care.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
We think therefore we must be, but are we?