Daily Silly Status

Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..

I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.

I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret

Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.

My doctor says each piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life... If my math is right, I should`ve died in 1781...

I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.

I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.

You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.

I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P

Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.

If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?

I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.

I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.

Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”

Life`s short ... Drink fast