Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
People don`t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
I spend the first half of work fantasizing about all the different places I could go for lunch.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”