Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
As I get older my tastes are changing, for instance I used to not like brussels sprouts but now I don`t like people.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
I used to play sports. Then realized you can buy trophies. Now I´m good at everything.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.