Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
When I win the lottery, the first thing I`m going to buy is a pot to piss in. I`ve always wanted one of those.
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart or at Taco Bell.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.