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As a man, EVERY month is `Breast Awareness Month` for me.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
The guest of honour was a bit subdued. The Keyboardist was playing too softly for my liking. But it was a good turnout, lots of food and laughter. But break out into one choreographed `Thriller` dance routine and the crowd goes all apesh!t and tosses you out of the funeral home.
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
I have some serious self-esteem issues. The last time I posted a selfie I first cropped myself out of it.
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.