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Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.