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Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
"Goodbye, everyone. I`ll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!