Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What I do when I black out is none of my business.
A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
MY 8 YEAR OLD: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
My house has really let itself go.
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride