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Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
Irons are like 1000 degrees, who`s bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made?
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
I never run with scissors. (those last two words were unnecessary.)
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?