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I wonder if angry people know about naps?
There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.
You can always make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
So... Where does one obtain minions?
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman