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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Instead of exes, they should be called whys.
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
There are a lot of side effects to smoking weed. Like never shutting up about the fact that you smoke weed.
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn`t it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!