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Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
what is the difference between a Fly and a mosquito? ``A fly can fly, But a Mosquito can`t mosquito``
The wet spot in my bed is tears
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.