Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight. - The Swiss Army
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut