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Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
You`d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their butt in the mirror they would be able to parallel park.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
My first crush was in kindergarten. I instantly knew I was doomed when she colored Neatly and Perfectly inside every line with a smug, superior smile
Does anyone have like twenty thousand dollars they don’t want? Asking for myself.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".