Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I`m not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.