Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
Is it just me or does the word "retweet" bring up images of Elmer Fudd commanding an army on the defensive?
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.