Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
When I`m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I`m busy, BAM! ... still nobody texts me.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)