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Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.