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I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.