Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
Ever have to poop and your abdominals start to relax just as you near the toilet, and then you notice that `Out of Order` sign or the empty toilet paper dispenser?
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Of course I`m using OJ as a mixer, it`s flu season.
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting "LOL" on relationship statuses on Facebook.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
Honey, tact is for people who aren`t witty enough to be sarcastic.
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie