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I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking