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someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
Your duty as a friend is to LIKE my Facebook posts even if they suck.
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I`m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
I want the time management skills of people who effortlessly carve out entire hours to be offended by every single thing on the internet.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??