Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a time machine, I’d probably just use it so I wouldn’t have to throw out so many bananas.
"You`re as crazy as your mother" is the last thing I remember saying before waking up in intensive care
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Marriage, because sometimes ruining a person`s life takes serious commitment.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
At 4-way stop, the first person to finish their text has the right of way right?
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.