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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude