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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Ask.com is useless............they have no idea where I put my car keys either
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.