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I`ve spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.
You know you are old when people keep telling you how young you look.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I`m totally flexible
Does Facebook have a βYouβre not smart enough to be talking about politicsβ button?
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, Iβm going back to bed.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than Iβve done in my entire life.
Not to get technical⦠but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
I donΒ΄t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.