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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.