Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber.
It`s awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.