Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
Your personality needs alcohol.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
If kidnapping is a federal offense, then why is marriage legal?
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well...my phone number for a start
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!