Daily Silly Status

I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"

Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d love to bring a guest.

If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, `Well, she`s there`

If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.

Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.

When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.

Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.

Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.

I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.

I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!

Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.

Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?

Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?

Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.