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there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
I want the job of placing pepperoni slices on frozen pizzas, because clearly whoever has it is now has problems.
I`m too lazy to ever write a biography. Story of my life.
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
My life is loosely based on a true story.
My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She`s now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don`t negotiate with terrorists!!
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. Iām not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/
If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you`re buying me drinks until you do.
You know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.